Name: Barley Atkinson
Title (one of many): Replacement Project Coordinator

Barley Atkinson, known to his closest friends as “such-a-good-boy-yes-he-is“, is Element’s newest employee, more than filling the shoes of our previous Project Coordinator.

“I only brought him to work that day because we had to leave for a fishing trip at the end of the day”, explained Ross Atkinson, Barley’s owner/daddy. “By the time lunch came, he had already merged everyone’s timesheets, paid all of the bills, made a stop at the bank, and created a spreadsheet to highlight inefficiencies in our workflow. Now, I’ve got two paychecks coming in.”

“If he makes more than me, he’s sleeping in the garage tonite.”

If you are an Element employee, it may be a good idea to get yourself on Barley’s best side early, considering he has taken over all payroll responsibilities. You could try giving him a good scratch on that hard-to-reach spot under his collar, or bring up…

• Lying on the sunniest part of the kitchen floor
• Rawhides
• That moment right after you’ve leaped off the dock and right before you hit the water
• Cheeseballs
• The ability to lick your own genitals tail

But stay away from…

• The weather (thunderstorms in particular)
• The veterinarian
• Government reform of the American health care system
• The Peanut Butter Spoon Culprit

Favorite Music:
Though you wouldn’t immediately expect it by looking at him, Barley’s musical tastes are eclectic. A brief glance at his iPod reveals a broad range of musical genres, from classical to Southern rock to 50’s country. However, his most played tracks can only be labeled as “Gangsta Rap”, though he prefers the West coast styling of Tupac Shakur and Snoop D-O-double-G over the music of Wu Tang Clan and Biggie Smalls, whom he considers “whack-*** tricks”.

Favorite Brands:
Apple, Volkswagen, Isaac Mizrahi, Purina Beggin’ Strips.

Quoting Barley, Quoting Someone Else:

“Reason itself is fallible, and this fallibility must find a place in our logic.” - Nicola Abbagnano

“Bark bark bark… *whimper*… bark bark.” - Rin Tin Tin

Tags: Getting to Know Element's Employees, Sue Barrett