Last night marked the 39th Annual Downtown Appleton Christmas Parade and Element’s own Kelly Lemmer had the privilege of getting up-close and personal with Santa Claus.

“Oh we go way back,” said Lemmer. “We haven’t seen each other in a long time, so it felt really good to be one of the six people riding his float. Our schedules are so conflicting, but when we get together, it’s amazing.”

The parade started near State Street and headed east on College Ave. The line-up featured many beautifully decorated floats and vehicles, but the most concerning part was seeing Mrs. Claus 70 units ahead of Santa. Luckily this subtle hint of a possible separation went unnoticed by the majority of children attending the event.

When approached about the separation, Lemmer became unusually defensive. “Are you implying that I am to blame for their separation? I don’t think so. They spend 364 days together each year. That’s a lot of time to spend with just one person, especially with no one else to talk to but eight pathetic reindeer. And lets just say the recent lawsuit is not exactly helping his relationship with the elves.”

After 45 minutes of rambling about wrapping paper, glass ornaments, and massage oil, Lemmer went on to say, “He’s entitled to a little fun, and I can’t help it if he wants to include me in on that. Has Santa ever given you a ride on his sleigh? If he had, you would know what I am talking about. But in no way am I responsible for their marital problems.”

Other sources say that Lemmer has recently purchased a condo near the Claus home in the North Pole and has already secured a job managing the toy train department.

Tags: Element, Element Fun, Getting to Know Element's Employees