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One sentence to sum up your life … go!
I learned Latvian from my parents, English from a television, rolled a wagon over a Saint Bernard’s broken leg, got bit by a Saint Bernard, stopped eating meat, was called “boisterous” by an arresting officer, drew a comic strip featuring a monkey named “Mook,” started eating meat, bought a cool metal detector, spent $23,000 at a single pub, bought a 10-acre farm for no real reason, got some alpacas, went on a bigfoot expedition, stopped eating meat, tore my achilles, rebuilt a 1973 BMW toaster motorbike, and was asked to sum up my life, in that order.
TV show loved as a child but now look back and think, “WTF?!”
Sid and Marty Krofft shows. “Land of the Lost” was the most ridiculous, but my favorite was “H.R. Pufnstuf” because it didn’t try to be serious.
When was the first time you saw the ocean?
1994 during Spring Break, Daytona Beach, Florida. I’m not at liberty to discuss any other events that transpired that week.
When was the last time you really laughed?
When I saw an old photo of “The Isolator.” It’s &^#$ing hilarious. A few people in our office could really use one.
What’s your favorite sound?
The sounds I hear walking through the woods up north on a breezy fall day.
Do you like scary movies or happy endings?
I like scary movies WITH happy endings. That way, I get the thrill of being terrified, yet when the movie’s over, I’m not questioning whether or not the monster/serial killer/ghost is standing outside my door.
What would you like more control over in your life?
Everything! I don’t think life comes with a manual or a remote control, but if anyone ever finds one, I’ll take one … in pink.
What in your life is more important than money?
Family and friends. Being surrounded by good people in life can’t be bought. Trust me, I’ve tried.
What book are you reading now?
I am currently reading Life Lessons of a Legend. You may know the author as Captain Tony from Jimmy Buffett’s song Last Mango in Paris. Yep, I am secretly a 56-year-old Parrot Head.
If you could have a drink with someone from history who would it be?
Leonardo da Vinci. Probably weren’t expecting that one, were you? Leonardo had a lot going on, and I’d just like to understand his thought pattern.
If you had a 60-second Super Bowl advertisement, what would you want to show a billion people?
My first instinct would be to moon the camera, but that’s probably inappropriate. Let’s go with a commercial for my personal invention for the average beach goer. I can’t say any more at this time, but you’ll see … you’ll see.
What is the most dramatic view you have seen?
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I’ve watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. (just kidding … that’s dialogue from “Blade Runner”)
What book can you read over and over again?
While I would love to reread several books, it’s been proven that I can repeatedly read aloud “One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish” to my 16-month-old.
What is your favorite weekend activity?
Just one? That would be bacon-eating-cartoon-watching-kid-playing-disc-golfing-beverage-drinking-Packers-cheering-movie-viewing-late-sleeping.
What do you think is your very best characteristic?
I’m good with money. I didn’t need Saturday Night Live to tell me I shouldn’t spend money I don’t have. It’s a wild concept, I know.
What is your strongest talent?
I won the Element ping pong tournament. Oh, I’m a programming expert, which comes in handy here, too.
What is your favorite cereal?
Captain Crunch because pirates eat it, too.
What music do you and your father have in common?
None. Is that even possible? Who makes these questions?
If you were a criminal mastermind, what would be your criminal racket?
The legal term on my rap sheet would be something like “unauthorized access to computer networks.” Yeah, that means “computer hacking.”
What is your favorite sport that doesn’t involve a ball?
Starcraft. (It IS TOO a Sport!)
What charity do you support?
Bay Area Humane Society. They host a beer fest to raise funds for the animals. What’s not to love?
What is the biggest obstacle preventing you from starting your own business?
Negotiating contracts+billing+finding new business+building relationships, etc. = Too many distractions taking time from doing what I love.
One sentence to sum up your life … go!
I once spent seven straight days in a Cabela’s. It was the best week of my life.
Worst date memory
Forgetting my wallet. It was like “Fast Times At Ridgemont High,” but worse (I was wearing a corduroy suit.)
Most absurd thing you believed as a child
I’m not saying my friends and I actually tried to beam anyone up, but we researched what it would take.
Through your own stupidity, you’ve come face-to-face with a gang of drunken crocodiles. What do you do?
Are you sure they’re crocodiles? Because they might be alligators. Alligators have a wider nose. Or, is it the other way around? And, there’s something different with their teeth … what was the question?
Worst date memory
Pulled into the girl’s driveway and remembered that my car didn’t have reverse. After nervously going to the door, meeting her dad, etc., we leave. I start the car, put it in neutral, leave the driver’s door open, grab the front bumper and start to push. This is a big car, so it takes a bit of rocking. As I slowly push it down the drive, I look up and see her dad watching from the picture window, arms crossed, very unhappy. Great way to impress the old man.
What is the most absurd thing you believed as a child?
That I could scrub off my freckles with a washcloth.
What is your favorite lunchmeat?
Venison sausage (served with lettuce, Miracle Whip, and fresh white bread that sticks to the roof of your mouth … mmmm).
Can you cook?
Yes, it’s a family tradition. My grandma and my mom taught me to cook.
If you didn’t need the money, what would you do for work?
I would like to operate a small dairy farm. I enjoy hands-on, manual labor. And, I’d be working with some of my favorite things: cows, tractors, and cheese.
What is the most spectacular place you have been?
Northern Manitoba (which is in Canada, for you geographically challenged). It happened to have three more of my favorite things: huge fish, clear water, and no people.
What was your first paying job?
I was an Assistant Finish Carpenter for Dave Gloss Construction in Appleton. Basically, I helped a 75-year-old guy hang trim and doors, I planted lawns, and I kept job sites clean.
Food you’re most likely to feed to the dog under the table:
There’s nothing worse than a turkey burger! Especially because I’m used to living off a plentiful supply of venison, cheese, and beer.
What is on your mouse pad?
Since I enjoy the outdoors, it’s stars of the northwoods. These delicious stars include Leinenkugel’s Red, Honey Weiss, Creamy Dark, and Berry Weiss.
What is the strangest food you’ve ever eaten?
That would have to be crayfish and frog legs. The frog legs were good … the crayfish should stay off the dinner plate and on a fishing hook where they belong.
Complete this sentence: When I think of clowns, I think …
Red Skelton on old vhs tapes from the ’60s that I used to watch at my grandparents’ house when I was a kid. They were old comedy movies and were actually pretty hilarious.
Favorite childhood candy
Fan Tan Gum. A candy “expert” on the east coast told me they stopped making it in the ’70s. If I found a piece from that decade, I’d still chew it.
If you had to choose one, would it be a computer or a television?
That’s a tough one. I learn a lot of random things by playing spin-the-dial on TV. It’s stuff that I wouldn’t necessarily search for on the Internet, so I’d never have exposure to it otherwise. The computer provides a quick way to research things, social interaction, entertainment, the ability to accomplish things, and yet, you can still watch television broadcasts. So, if I could only have one, it would be a computer.
What is the furthest west you have traveled?
Been as far west as California. Any further, and I’d get wet.
What food are you most likely to feed the dog under the table?
None, no way, no how! I do not like begging dogs. Oh wait, I guess as a sales guy I kind of might be in the same position. Steak it is!
One sentence to sum up your life…go
Wife, high school daughter, middle school daughter, grade school daughter, grade school daughter, girl dog…what the hell is wrong with me?
What traits in others are you attracted to?
My motto: work hard, get better, and have fun doing it. I like others that feel the same.
know the crew
Each member of the Element gang is crucial to creating dynamic marketing for our clients. Our wide range of personalities and life experiences provides spirited insight to the numerous challenges clients bring through our doors.
Click a name to discover more about each associate along with getting a high-speed tour of our acclaimed working space in De Pere, WI. If you’re feeling some chemistry, stop in so we can get to know you. At first blush, you appear quite fascinating.
