The Beer Witch Project

It has come to our attention that we may have an unwelcome visitor on our hands.

Element art director, Mike Tessmer, recently came back from a holiday vacation to Mexico, but he did not return alone. No, it wasn’t a ravenous case of Montezuma’s revenge or an exotic insect stowaway. It was an ancient and angry apparition. And we think the ghostly spirit has apparently taken residence at Element.

Yeah, thanks, Mike.

According to Mexican legend, there was once a young man who desired the affections of a beautiful woman whom he knew adamantly abstained from alcohol. Ironically, his family owned a “sustantivo,” or brewery. To show his dedication to the woman, he dumped hundreds of cases of beer into the Lerma Santiago River. Yet, she still would not have him, which left him devastated. Days later, he passed away. Today, it is said that the ghost eternally haunts those who partake in beer and spirits.

Since the office’s expansion, the interactive group upstairs has been unable to ignore his presence. Web Developer, Ryan Hebl, swears to hear bottle caps, dropping one by one, every Friday around 3:30pm. There is a strong scent of beer floating from Associate Creative Director, Eric Severstad’s office, which is unable to be masked, despite Project Coordinator Sue Barrett’s best Lysol-spraying abilities.

We think the ghost may also be contributing to a few other occurrences in Element’s chain of unfortunate office events: The light in Sales Director Chad Mix’s office refuses to stay on; he is forced to spend his workday in darkness. Dirty dishes are strewn across the café counter, even after being placed neatly in the dishwasher. The chairs in the conference room are constantly found in disarray, rebelling from Account Assistant Rachel Carlson’s straightening them.

Element is planning to perform a séance, which will take place as soon as Director of Account Services, Nikki Peroutka, is able to find candles that match the Element décor.

 

The Unofficial Element Spokes-Moose
Canuck is a surprisingly intelligent and humorous character that could talk your ear off. He loves life, learning new things and, most of all, sharing new insight with people. He’s adjusted well since emigrating to the U.S. from Canada and settling down at Element. In fact, he’s taken strongly to blogging about marketing, branding, social media, and the Element office happenings. He’s still very loyal to his homeland, insisting that hockey is the only real-man’s sport, pancakes are acceptable at any meal, and Canadian beer is superior to the swill made everywhere else.