July 10, 2009

‘Barley’ Making it Without You

A vital part of our agency has been gone for sometime now. Project Manager Sue Barrett decided that a week vacation was necessary in order to keep her sanity. As she continues to float down the Mississippi River sipping her cocktails, the invoices have piled high, new jobs have been put on hold, payroll delayed, and the flowers…well, they’re practically dead.

We could no longer take the insanity, and Element was forced to hire a replacement. After minutes of searching, and with no other suitable applicants, we hired Barley, a close friend of Web Developer Ross Atkinson. We feel that he is a great fit for Element, and so far the perfect replacement for Barrett.

Director of New Media Kiar Olson commented, “I’m really happy that Barley smokes the same Grape Cigarillos as Sue. That sweet aroma always puts me in the mood to really crank out the work. The only thing I don’t enjoy is the slobber all over the copy machine.”

Brand loyalty and making great copies are not the only things Barley and Barrett have in common. Many of the employees like to hang out with Barely outside of work too.

“Barley and I went out after work for a few drinks,” said Ann Behling, Director of Publications. “We started off at Palukas for a Bloody Mary, but just like Sue always had to do, we went to the liquor store and purchased a few Colt 45s. We both ended up passed out somewhere down on East Mason Street. It was like I was with Sue the entire time!”

Though the employees enjoy the similarities, Barley wishes everyone would recognize the differences. To differentiate himself, Barley has given Fridays off to all Element employees, requires no timesheets, leaves the office lights on 24 hours a day, and has glued numerous toasters to the kitchen counter.

As Barley becomes more settled, Element will most likely be in for more surprises.

CanuckThe Unofficial Element Spokes-Moose
Canuck is a surprisingly intelligent and humorous character that could talk your ear off. He loves life, learning new things and, most of all, sharing new insight with people. He’s adjusted well since emigrating to the U.S. from Canada and settling down at Element. In fact, he’s taken strongly to blogging about marketing, branding, social media, and the Element office happenings. He’s still very loyal to his homeland, insisting that hockey is the only real-man’s sport, pancakes are acceptable at any meal, and Canadian beer is superior to the swill made everywhere else.