The Big Wheel in the Sky

It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news. Please join us in remembering one of the greatest small animal food-packaging models and office pet that we have been blessed with knowing. Stoli the Russian dwarf hamster passed away doing something he loved, running in his plastic ball. He was 2.5 years-old.

He is survived by caretaker Kiar Olson, 15 Element employees, and Sue Barrett’s nostrils. The words, “man, that thing stinks” still ring throughout the office walls.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Max, the Jack Russell Terrier who played Milo, Jim Carrey’s faithful and intelligent dog in the 1994 movie The Mask. Rhino, the hamster from Disney’s animated classic Bolt, also attended the funeral and described Stoli as “Awesome. Actually, beyond awesome, and more accurately, be-awesome.”

The funeral was held today 1:50 p.m. for about five minutes.

In leiu of flowers, donations to the Hamster Replacement Fund can be given directly to Kiar Olson.